Denis Farina – A Front Row Seat to the Lord’s Transforming Powers
I grew up in a typical Chicago-style bungalow on the north side of the city. My father was a policeman, and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. From the outside, things would appear to be pretty normal. Played baseball, had friends, BBQs etc.. but inside the house was a family of dysfunction. My parents fought all the time, sometimes it became violent, and other times the violence was directed at me. The family members that I was supposed to be protected by and loved for were also perpetrating abuses towards me. Some were psychological, some were physical, and some were sexual abuse. I never told anyone what was going on and held myself captive for many years.
I started drinking like many kids by stealing drinks lying around at family parties, I loved the feeling it gave me because it helped deaden the pain, shame, and embarrassment I was feeling. As I grew older, my drinking got worse and eventually was not satisfying enough for me. At a bar one day, a friend asked me if I wanted to do a line of coke. I tried it and was hooked, I loved it. I started to abuse cocaine and loved the way it made me feel. Again, it was an outlet for me to help deaden everything I was feeling.
After many years of alcohol and cocaine abuse, I found my best friend after a surgery in Vicodin. It made me feel like I was young again, it killed all the physical pain from surgery and previous injuries, but best of all it killed all the emotional pain. My new best friend in opiates helped me to lose a marriage, house, cars, apartments, jobs, friends, family, and the respect of my children. It also helped me to become a thief, a liar, and a master manipulator. Although I could stay at my girlfriend’s place, I had no place. It also helped me to end up in jail a number of times, it helped me to try to commit suicide, and it helped me to have a 9-day stay in a psych ward.
I had gone to a 30-day rehab after getting released, and really thought that it would help. I really wanted and hoped I had the tools to get “clean”. Well, that hope was busted very shortly, and I relapsed. After relapsing, I ended up in jail again. My girlfriend had been in contact with my pastor and family and organised an intervention for me as soon as I was released.
At the intervention, I was approached with the idea of Adult and Teen Challenge. I had never heard of the program and resisted a little at first, but eventually ended up going. I figured, why not give the Lord an opportunity with my life since I had done such a poor job managing it myself all these years. When I got to ATC, it was something I had never experienced before. It was full of love, grace, and mercy. I was told I was the Son of a King with a past that could be redeemed by Him!!! I no longer had to believe the lies about myself, that I was a liar, a thief, and an addict. We would talk about my past pains and traumas, and give them to the Lord. He met me in that particular situation and spoke truth to me about who I was and where my true Identity lies, in Him. The year I spent at ATC was such a blessing, it was the best year I had in over 2 decades. It helped me to learn about being a man of God, how to be the husband and father we are all called to be. Yes, the girlfriend that I had through some of the worst times in my life, stuck by my side through the entire year, ended up being my bride, confidant, rock, and is my best friend.
I love the Lord and He has blessed my life in so many ways, I cannot describe. I was so grateful to ATC, that I came back and have been serving with them for the last 13 years at 3 different ATCs. To have a front row seat in the Lords transforming power is priceless!!! The most exciting thing right now is that we are in the process of relaunching in the Humboldt Park area. There is such a need in our community for those who struggle with life-controlling issues, and we have the answer in Jesus Christ.